Good Divorce Week – #ABetterWay

As part of Resolution’s Good Divorce Week 2021, we are sharing daily top tips on how you can have a ‘Good Divorce’:

Tip 1: Put your children first  

The impact a divorce can have on children is often forgotten. You may have thought about a separation or divorce for some time, your children may already know about it or suspect it is likely to happen. However, the news that it is actually happening can still come as a great shock to them.

They may just be starting on a journey that you yourself started on some time ago.

It is important to think about how each child is likely to feel about the situation and cope with it. Children have an overriding need for security and, except in extreme circumstances, children need to know that they will still have regular contact with both parents despite them living separately.

When you decide to tell the children what is happening you will need to decide whether to talk with them separately or together. What you tell them or don’t tell them needs careful thought.

10 tips to consider when speaking to your children about divorce or separation:

  1. Don’t blame each other for the breakdown
  2. It can help the children if both parents can talk to them together
  3. Be honest about what is happening
  4. Reassure them, but don’t make promises you cannot keep
  5. Allow the children to show how they feel
  6. Children should never be exposed to adult issues i.e., have knowledge of Court proceedings or overhear conversations about the legal process
  7. Do not denigrate one another to or in front of the children
  8. Children should not be leveraged or caught in the middle
  9. In terms of finances, adequate provision for the children’s needs should be a main priority for both parties
  10. Let the children know what the arrangements are if they have been worked out

Children are as resilient as they are perceptive so it is very important to shield them from any conflict that may arise. It takes a lot of determination and patience to continue to put the children first and if you cannot agree on what that means in practice, seek some advice and help to work it out.

Family Solicitors Guildford

We offer a free 20-minute consultation on all family matters. Please phone 01483 451900 and ask to speak to a member of our family team or alternatively you can make an online enquiry and we will call you back.